Okay….for Maggie.  I NEVER said I was gonna eat your fish.  As I recall, you said “do you wanna eat one of my thingys?” and I said “fish?” and you freaked out.  And I think somewhere in the pending conversation during your tirade I may have mentioned something about giving them to a frat that needs fish for initiation…but in that case someone else would be eating them, not me.

On another subject, I feel like I’ve been given an overdose of intellectuality. It seems like all we ever do in class is analyze and psychoanalyze and reevaluate and question everything in the world.  We talk about women’s roles and women’s rights and gender issues and cultural context.  But culture came from somewhere.  Culture rose from a basis of biology and psychology that may not have been understood, but was nonetheless there. And many people want to preserve the cultures of every quaint and rustic society that has retained any of its origin, and yet we are always questioning things, and trying to strip ideas of their cultural context. And I feel like in this search for knowledge I have surrendered my search for truth, because I’ve found that my ideas, like those of society as a whole, are forever changing and reforming themselves, but not with growth and forward movement.  I feel like a little child lost in a forest of knowledge, and I keep encountering the same tree and the same stump and the same bush, but still I cannot move in an outward direction. I’m lost and running in little circles like a dog chasing its tail.  And at times like these I just want to throw my books out the window (but not really, because that would result in a fine,) and move to a desert island and never hear another word about these never ending questions and the underlying encouragement by the ‘enlightened’ to mistrust every foundational belief I have.  But then I would be a bad steward of this wonderful education that I have been offered, and of the mind God has given me.  But is this good stewardship? How can I know? God, help me find the way.  Give me discernment to know what is true and what is not. Help me find truth. 



4 responses to “

  • jgarber

    my advise for the night is don’t throw your books out the window. So yeah I hope all is well but I must sleep now. cause the week moves on. Stay out of trouble-Josiah

  • emu777_dynamic_crux

    well i’ve already forgiven you but giving my fish to a frat party is almost worst than eating them yourself……but thanks for restraining – haha – hey can i move to the desert island with you? – maybe we can escape it all – i could be the monkey’s doctor – hehe – oh except it’s a desert hmmmm – i still think you have a predisposition to warmth – haha (i think we all do – you’re just special) haha – love ya and don’t get too dizzy running in circles – you’re grounded we’re just surrounded by ideas and confrontation and it’s confusing (i know how you feel 🙂 God Bless and you should go to bed…….

  • fallbaby03

    yay!!! esther I’m happy you have a xanga site!!!  i’ll seeya’ next weekend!!!  🙂  bossler crew reunited!!!

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