Yesterday I was weak.

Yesterday I clung to things that I had no right to cling to.

Yesterday I read a yearbook and wished that I had been somewhere that it was not my place to be.

Yesterday I sat in the passenger’s seat on the way to a friend’s house and listened to a song on the radio, and in the darkness, tears slipped silently down from my eyes.

Yesterday I waited outside in the car alone for the traces of my weakness to release themselves from my face, but my shoulders shuddered as a new wave of sadness formed two cold rivers that dripped from my chin.

Yesterday I went into the bathroom and washed my face and then I curved my mouth upwards and held up my chin.

Yesterday I stared out of a window into the frozen dark night and wondered about the future.

Yesterday I curled myself into a ball next to the fire and covered myself with a quilt.

Yesterday I woke up five times in the night.

Yesterday I was afraid.

Today I woke up and it was morning.

Today I laughed as I sat in the passenger’s seat on the way back to school.

Today I covered my head and went to church and sang with joy in my soul.

Today my hope for the present and future is stronger than my longing for the past.

Today I feel secure.

Today I am strong.

Today it is safe to love me again.

But what about tomorrow?


Nehemiah 8:10

10 Nehemiah said, “Go and enjoy choice food and sweet drinks, and send some to those who have nothing prepared. This day is sacred to our Lord. Do not grieve, for the joy of the LORD is your strength.”


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