If a tidal wave wiped out my entire community….if it killed my family, destroyed my home, erased all that I had ever known…….If I was left standing on an empty beach with cars and debris floating the water…..If I walked through a room of dead bodies to identify my relatives…..how can your heart continue to beat when it is broken? When your spirit has been crushed to the point that you cannot even cry, wouldn’t you hate death more for eluding you than for taking away everything you love? Over 13,000…can anyone explain that number to me? We are called to love…If I had loved those over 13,000…if I had loved even one of those over 13,000, how could I go on? How could I sit around a table and joke about dating and eat Pizza? How could I go downstairs and watch Shrek II. How could I come home and tease my heart with the emotions – even the pain – in a movie. How could I get on the computer and write my thoughts on a meaningless website. If I had loved even one of them, the pain would be too great. If I had loved one of them, then “over 13,000” minus one would still have been swept away, untouched by my life….and I may not have made a big enough difference even for that one. But this is speculation…because I didn’t….I didn’t even love one of them.
And what is real about instant messenger. I shared my thoughts with a friend. I wrote what I have just written here, and then the tears fell…and my body shook uncontrollably…But I made myself stop. Not because of the friend who I was talking with…they didn’t even know. There computer screen did not communicate that my eyes were flooded with salty water or that I had covered my face to stifle my sobs. I made myself stop because I realized that someone was watching TV in the next room. My mother was watching TV, so I stopped crying….I wasn’t even talking to her, but she might have heard me through the closed door. She coincidentally walked in later and knew I was crying anyway. Through IM no one would have heard me. Not even the one who I was talking to. Is this real?
Matthew 2:18 – “A voice is heard in Ramah,
weeping and great mourning, Rachel weeping for her children
and refusing to be comforted, because they are no more.”
Rachel, weep now. Weep for Indonesia. Weep for India. For Sri Lanka. For Thailand. Weep for them all. I wonder if God really does weep too. God, who loved all ‘over 13,000.’ Maybe that is why the earth quaked. Maybe God was weeping for them.
John 3:16 – “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.