Bitterness

I should have known better.
I should have expected the cruel irony
And laughed from the depths of my
Frozen, dead heart.

I should have thought ahead,
To the way I would react.
My own treachery, because I cannot forgive.
Not yet.

I should feel all the guilt and fear
That all the anguish in my heart
Won’t make a difference
At all.

I shouldn’t have been such a fool
To keep hoping and praying
When only a fool would still
Have hope.

Faith is just a demon
In the back of my mind saying
“You shouldn’t have loved him
More than Me.”

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